他其實(shí)沒(méi)那么喜歡你 第87期:惡霸男朋友

Dear Glutton for Punishment,

親愛(ài)的不怕吃苦頭的人：

He sounds perfect, if you like bad people.

他聽(tīng)起來(lái)挺完美的，如果你喜歡壞人的話。

Why would you want to be with someone whobelittles you so that he can feel superior? Andespecially in front of your friends!

為什么你想要和通過(guò)貶低你而感到出眾的人在一起呢?特別是在你的朋友們面前貶低你!

Which Ivy League school has a program in public belittlement?

哪一所常青藤聯(lián)盟大學(xué)有“在公眾面前貶低人”這個(gè)課程?

Because that's what this guy majored in if he thinks that insulting you in front of your friends isgoing to make him seem like anything other than an idiot.

因?yàn)槟蔷褪沁@個(gè)家伙所學(xué)的專(zhuān)業(yè)，如果他認(rèn)為在朋友們面前侮辱你可以讓他覺(jué)得是個(gè)東西，除了傻子。

And why should you care if he treats you better when you're alone?

你為什么要在乎當(dāng)你沒(méi)和他待在一起的時(shí)候，他是否對(duì)你更好?

Because it sounds like he can't wait to get you out in public just so he can humiliate you.

因?yàn)檫@聽(tīng)起來(lái)就像是他迫不及待的把你帶到公眾面前，這樣他就可以羞辱你。

Dump Mr. Smarty Pants. And go get a degree in A Man I Can Be Around My Friends With.

醒醒吧，自作聰明的先生。在“交一個(gè)可以讓朋友接納的男人”這個(gè)專(zhuān)業(yè)獲得學(xué)位。

But the university—I Like Myself. Greg

大學(xué)叫做“我愛(ài)我自己”。格雷格

The "But He's Just Trying to Help" Excuse

“他只是試著幫助你”的借口

Dear Greg,

親愛(ài)的格雷格：

I have a boyfriend who really understands what I'm going through.

我男朋友是真的懂得我所經(jīng)歷的事情。

I've always had a weigh problem and I've been battling it my whole life.

我一直以來(lái)都有體重方面的問(wèn)題，我一生都與之斗爭(zhēng)。

He's a huge gym rat and is very food conscious.

他是一個(gè)狂熱的健身迷，而且在意吃的食物。

He tells me what I can and can't eat.

他告訴我該吃什么不該吃什么。

If I want to cheat, he tells me that it will go straight to my fat ass.

如果我想作弊，他就會(huì)告訴我這直接會(huì)長(zhǎng)在我肥碩的屁股上。

He lets me know if I'm putting on weight, but he also tells me when I look good and am makingprogress.

他會(huì)讓我知道我是否長(zhǎng)胖了，但是當(dāng)我看起來(lái)狀態(tài)不錯(cuò)，取得了進(jìn)步的時(shí)候，他也會(huì)告訴我。

I think it's great that he's so understanding of my issue.

他可以如此懂我的問(wèn)題我覺(jué)得太棒了。

My friends think he's mean to me. I don't agree. What do you think, Greg?

我的朋友認(rèn)為他對(duì)我很苛刻。我不同意。格雷格，你怎么認(rèn)為?

Signed Nadia

妮娜

Dear Weight Watchers,

親愛(ài)的重量關(guān)注者：

This guy doesn't sound like your personal trainer.

這個(gè)家伙聽(tīng)起來(lái)不像是你的私人教練。

He sounds like your personal bully.

聽(tīng)起來(lái)，他倒像是你的私人惡霸。

And to remind you, his job title is actually just personal boyfriend.

而且提醒你，他的工作頭銜實(shí)際上只是私家男朋友。

But he's a clever personal bully.

但是他是一個(gè)聰明的私人惡霸。

He knows that you feel bad about yourself and leaps to take advantage of that.

他知道你對(duì)你自己感覺(jué)不好，而且立刻充分利用了這個(gè)弱點(diǎn)。

Bullies prey on people weaker than them. Even ones that lift weights every day.

惡霸們捕食弱者。甚至那些每天舉重的人。

It's time you use your quads and hamstrings to run away from him and never come back.

是時(shí)候用你的腰部和肌腱從他身邊跑走，永遠(yuǎn)不要再回來(lái)。

Greg

格雷格

I'm going to comment on the last three together.

我打算一起評(píng)論最后三封信。

There's lots of behavior that can be considered abusive that doesn't include being beaten aboutthe head and neck.

有很多行為可以被認(rèn)為是凌辱，不包括敲打頭部和頸部。

That includes getting yelled at, being publicly humiliated, or being made to feel fat andunattractive.

這些行為包括被人大喊大叫，被當(dāng)眾羞辱了，或者被迫覺(jué)得自己胖或者沒(méi)有吸引力。

It's hard to feel worthy of love when someone is going out of their way to make you feelworthless.

當(dāng)有人特意讓你覺(jué)得你沒(méi)有價(jià)值時(shí)，你也就很難感受到愛(ài)的價(jià)值。

Being told to get out of these relationships may not work for you.

讓你脫離這些關(guān)聯(lián)也許對(duì)你沒(méi)用。

Knowing that you're better than these relationships is the place to start.

你要知道你比這些關(guān)聯(lián)更好才是起點(diǎn)。

You are better than these relationships.

你比這些關(guān)聯(lián)更優(yōu)秀。