蘇格蘭瑪麗女王 08 England

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　　Elizabeth didn't give me her army.She put me in prison.You know this，James—it is the story of your life，not mine. I was twenty-five years old when I came to England， and I am forty-five now.Twenty years in English prisons.

　　Moray told lies about me. Mary and Bothwell killed Darn-ley， he said.Mary slept with Riccio and Bothwell and killed her husband. But it's not true!They're all lies， James— wicked lies!They only said these things because I am a woman， and aCatholic， and they don't want a Catholic queen in Scotland， they want a Protestant king.

　　A king like you， James.Why， James my son， don't you help me? Why are you friendly with Elizabeth， my enemy?You don't want me back in Scotland， do you? You believe these lies， don't you?You talk to Moray and his friends， every day.But they lied about me，James.Moray and his friends killed Riccio Then killed your father， too.They stole my husband Bothwell， stole my son…

　　Stole my son's love…

　　I am sorry， James.Forgive me.Sometimes I get very angry.It is difficult not to be angry， when you are in prison for twenty years.

　　Elizabeth didn't know what to do.Sometimes she believed Moray， sometimes she didn't.She was afraid to kill me， be-cause I was a Queen. She was afraid to let me go free， bcause I have friends in England. The English Catholics want me to be Queen of England， not her. And she is a woman with no husband and no son， so she hates me， too.

　　Sometimes the English Catholics write to me and ask me for help， and sometimes I write to them.Sometimes Elizabeth's men find these letters. The English Protestants want to kill me because of these letters.‘You are a wicked woman!'they say：‘ You killed your husband， Darnley， and now you want to kill our Queen Elizabeth.You're going to die!'

　　‘I did not kill my husband，'I said.‘And when l came to England， I did not want to kill your Queen. I asked her for help—I wanted to go back to Scotand!But，mylords，she put me in prison for twenty years! Twenty years， my lords!I want to be free—don't you understand that? when men write to me and try to help me， then yes， sometimes I write back!Why not? Is that wicked， do you think?'

　　They didn't listen. Of course not. They want to kill me.And so they wrote to Queen Elizabeth. And now I sit here， in Fotheringhay Castle， and wait for her to answer. I do not want to die， James my son， but I do not want to live all my life in an English prison. I am old， and tired of life. Think well of me， James， my son， and…

　　8 英格蘭

　　伊麗莎白沒有給我她的軍隊。她把我關(guān)進(jìn)了監(jiān)獄。你知道這些的，詹姆斯——它是有關(guān)你生活的故事，不是我的。我來到英格蘭時才25歲，而現(xiàn)在我已經(jīng)45歲了，在英格蘭的監(jiān)獄里呆了20年。

　　有關(guān)我的情況馬里撒了謊?，旣惡筒┧柬f爾殺死了達(dá)恩利，他說?，旣惡屠锲鎶W、博思韋爾同床共眠，還殺死了她的丈夫。但這不是真的!他們?nèi)谡f謊，詹姆斯——惡意的謊言!他們只提這些事是因為我是個女人，是個天主教教徒，而且在蘇格蘭，他們不想要一個天主教教徒的女王，他們想要一個新教教徒的國王。

　　一個像你這樣的國王，詹姆斯。為什么不幫助我呢?詹姆斯，我的兒子，為什么你還和伊麗莎白，我的仇敵友好相處呢?你不想讓我回到蘇格蘭，是嗎?你相信這些謊言，不是嗎?你每天和馬里以及他的朋友們說話。可是他們編造了關(guān)于我的謊言，詹姆斯。馬里和他的朋友殺死了里奇奧，然后又殺死了你的父親。他們偷走了我的丈夫博思韋爾，偷走了我的兒子。……

　　偷走了我兒子的愛……

　　我很抱歉，詹姆斯。原諒我。有時候我很憤怒。當(dāng)你在監(jiān)獄呆了20年之久，不生氣是很難的。

　　伊麗莎白不知道該怎樣做。她有時相信馬里，有時候不。她不敢殺我，因為我是個女王。她不敢讓我獲得自由是因為我在英格蘭有朋友。英格蘭天主教教徒想讓我成為英格蘭女王，而不是她。再說她是個沒有丈夫沒有兒子的女人，因此她也恨我。

　　有時英格蘭的天主教教徒們給我寫信詢問我是否需要幫助，有時我也寫信給他們。有時伊麗莎白的人發(fā)現(xiàn)了這些書信。英格蘭的新教教徒們想殺我就是因為這些書信。“你是個不道德的女人!”他們說：“你殺死了自己的丈夫，達(dá)恩利，而現(xiàn)在你又想殺我們的女王伊麗莎白。你死期將至了。”

　　“我沒有殺害我丈夫，”我說，“而且當(dāng)我來到英格蘭時，我并沒有想殺害你們的女王。我來請求她的幫助——我想回到蘇格蘭!但是，我的勛爵們，她把我關(guān)進(jìn)了監(jiān)獄整整20年! 20年啊!我的勛爵們!我要自由——難道你們不理解嗎?人們給我寫信試圖想幫助我，的確是的，有時我也回信!為什么不呢?你們認(rèn)為那很不道德嗎?”

　　他們不聽。當(dāng)然不聽了。他們想殺我。因此他們給伊麗莎白女王寫信?，F(xiàn)在我坐在這里，在福瑟臨黑城堡里，等待她的答復(fù)。我不想死，詹姆斯我的兒子，但是我也不想一輩子呆在英格蘭監(jiān)獄里。我老了，對生活也厭倦了。多想一想我吧，詹姆斯，我的兒子，并且……