聽美劇學(xué)英語-摩登家庭第二季 第13集：詭異的結(jié)婚紀(jì)念日
- 分段01
- 分段02
- 分段03
- 分段04
Come on, let's go.
快點(diǎn) 出門啦
We're gonna need a little more time
我們要早點(diǎn)去 預(yù)留點(diǎn)多一點(diǎn)時(shí)間
at the airport security because I'm pretty sure
過機(jī)場的安檢 因?yàn)槲掖_信
that they're gonna wanna patch you down.
他們肯定會多留你一會兒
Manny is with his father for the weekend
曼尼這周末在他爸爸那
so Jay and I are flying to Vegas.
所以我和杰要飛去拉斯維加斯度周末
I'm a little torn because I want alone time with Gloria,
我有點(diǎn)左右為難 因?yàn)槲壹认牒透杪謇騺嗊^二人世界
but I also like rubbing Manny's head for good luck.
又想揉揉曼尼的頭 求得在賭場的好手氣
I just need to send this e-mail to Claire
我得給克萊爾發(fā)封郵件
why I'm not working on the bake sale next week,
解釋一下我為什么不參加下周的糕餅義賣了
but I can't say the real reason.
但我又不能告訴她真正的原因
Why not?
為什么
Because she drives me crazy
因?yàn)槊看嗡?fù)責(zé)這些事的時(shí)候
when she's in charge of these things.
都讓我很抓狂
Okay. We got a flight to catch, so let me help you out here.
好吧 我們還要趕飛機(jī) 所以我就來幫幫你吧
Okay.
好
You tell me what you want to say to her,
把你想跟她說的話告訴我
and I'll help you find a nice way to say it.
我?guī)湍愀牡奈褚恍?/p>
I want to say...
我想說
I can't work on the bake sale
我不能去參加糕餅義賣了
because you're a bossy control freak
因?yàn)槟闶且粋€(gè)專橫的控制狂
that looks down on my cupcakes
還瞧不上我做的紙杯蛋糕
even though your lemon squares were very dry.
雖然你自己做的檸檬方形蛋糕干的要命
Done. Okay?
寫好了 快吧
How's this?
你看這個(gè)怎么樣
Dear claire, I can't work the bake sale
親愛的克萊爾 我不能參加糕餅義賣了
27
00:00:58,671 --> 00:01:01,361
because you're a bossy control freak who look down --
因?yàn)槟闶且粋€(gè)專橫的控制狂 還瞧不上
Very funny, Jay.
真幽默 杰
I -- I -- why the whoosh?
我 我 剛才那呼呼的聲音是怎么回事
Where is -- where is the e-mail?
哪去了 電子郵件哪去了
It sended! Ay. Make it come back.
已經(jīng)發(fā)送了 把它弄回來
I don't know how to make it come back.
我不知道怎么把它弄回來
Now she's gonna read it,
這下她會看到這封郵件
and she's gonna think it's from me!
然后認(rèn)為是我寫的
Well, technically, it was from you.
嚴(yán)格來說 確實(shí)是你寫的
Come on, let's hit the road.
走吧 出發(fā)了
It sended.
已經(jīng)發(fā)送了
Please come back.
求求你回來吧
We love our neighborhood, but sometimes the last thing
我們很喜歡這個(gè)街區(qū) 但有時(shí)候
you want to do after fighting traffic
最討厭的事是在堵了半天車 好不容易開回家之后
is get back in the car to go out to eat.
還得再開車出門吃飯
And the only restaurant within walking distance
而步行范圍內(nèi)唯一的一家餐館
is Shawarma City.
是沙威瑪城
Two Shawarma combo. Meat or chicken?
兩個(gè)沙威瑪套餐 要豬肉還是雞肉
Uh, one meat. One chicken.
一個(gè)豬肉 一個(gè)雞肉
And can you make the chicken all white meat?
雞肉那份能不能都用白肉啊
Number 32. Pay cashier.
三十二號 收銀柜臺付款
Okay, that's not an answer.
好吧 你根本沒回答我嘛
Then a miracle happened.
然后 奇跡發(fā)生了
Uh, the hottest new restaurant in the city
城里最熱門的新餐館
opened up two blocks away --
阿米莉亞 在兩個(gè)街區(qū)外
Amelia's.
開了一家分店
But there was a problem.
但有個(gè)問題
They can take us at 5:15...
五點(diǎn)十五分有位子
What are we, 80?
我們是七老八十嗎 這么早吃飯
要不就十點(diǎn)四十五
10：45.
What are we, 20?
我們是二十幾歲的小伙子嗎 半夜才吃飯
Then...miracle number two.
接下來 第二個(gè)奇跡
Turns out one of the mothers at Lily's pre-school
莉莉?qū)W前班里一個(gè)同學(xué)的媽媽
is none other than Amelia herself.
就是阿米莉亞本尊
So we arranged a play date with her son, Jackson,
所以我們約了她的兒子杰克遜一起玩
where we would, you know, charm Amelia.
借機(jī)來取悅阿米莉亞
Okay.
好了
The most important play date ever,
史上最重要的游戲聚會
so I'm really gonna need you to sparkle, sweetie.
所以你得表現(xiàn)出耀眼的一面哦 小甜心
Oh, I'm gonna sparkle like it's the 4th of July.
我會像國慶日那天的煙火一樣耀眼
I was talking to Lily.
我是沖莉莉說的
It's our parents' anniversary,
今天是我們爸媽的結(jié)婚紀(jì)念日
so we're surprising them with breakfast in bed.
我們準(zhǔn)備把早餐給他們送到床頭 給他們一個(gè)驚喜
They're impossible to buy for...
給他們買什么禮物 他們都不會喜歡的
We think.
我們是這么想的
We've never really tried.
但我們也沒買過
Okay. Ready?
好了 準(zhǔn)備好了嗎
One, two, three...
一 二 三
Surpri-i-i--
驚喜啊啊啊
Oh. Oh! No! No!
不 不
No! No! No!
不 不 不
- I'm sorry! - Nothing's happening!
對不起-什么都沒發(fā)生
Oh, my god.
我的天啊
Yeah, our kids walked in on us.
沒錯(cuò) 孩子們撞見我們了
- We were, as they say, "having sex." - Oh, god.
-委婉地說 我們當(dāng)時(shí)正在做愛 -天啊
That's not a euphemism, Phil.
這一點(diǎn)也不委婉啊 菲爾
It's exactly what we were doing -- having sex.
我們當(dāng)時(shí)確實(shí)也就是在做愛
In front of our children.
還當(dāng)著孩子們的面
Well, they weren't there when we started.
我們開始的時(shí)候他們又不在
No.
的確
In fact, you weren't even there when we sta...
事實(shí)上 我們剛開始的時(shí)候 你也不在狀態(tài)
Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
天啊 天啊
It's okay. Maybe they didn't see anything.
沒什么大不了的 沒準(zhǔn)他們什么都沒看見呢
Sweetie, t-they screamed, they dropped a tray of dishes,
親愛的 他們尖叫 還把一托盤的早餐都扔了
and then they ran out of here like they were on fire.
然后就像屁股著火了一樣地沖出去了
You were on fire, lady.
你才像著火一般火辣呢 女士
Really? You're still going?
不是吧 你還有心情
Well, forgive me for thinking
請?jiān)徫艺J(rèn)為
your zesty performance deserves some praise.
你如此激情的表現(xiàn)應(yīng)該得到夸獎(jiǎng)
Phil, our children are downstairs right now,
菲爾 咱們的孩子現(xiàn)在正在樓下
and they are probably traumatized.
心靈上可能受到了巨大的創(chuàng)傷
Oh, come on. I'm sure it's not that bad.
拜托 肯定沒那么嚴(yán)重
I can still see it!
我還是能看到
I can't believe that just happened!
我不敢相信剛剛發(fā)生的一切
- What were they doing? - Nothing!
他們剛才在干什么-什么都沒干
Whatever it was, it looked like dad was winning.
不管是什么都好 看上去老爸要贏了
It! They were doing it!
是那個(gè) 他們在做那個(gè)
He has no idea what you're taking about.
他完全不明白你在說什么
- Sex? - Yes!
性愛嗎-沒錯(cuò)
I know what sex is, Alex.
我知道性愛是什么 艾麗克斯
It's when a man and a woman take off their underpants
就是一男一女脫掉內(nèi)衣
and then get into the bed.
然后上床
Stop talking!
別再說了
Try Claire again.
再給克萊爾打一次
I'm not getting a signal.
手機(jī)沒信號
Relax. We'll get her.
放松 我們會聯(lián)系上她的
Hey, shorty told me about this restaurant in Vegas
矮子跟我說拉斯維加斯有一家餐廳
that's got a three-story wine tower
在餐廳的正中
right in the middle of it.
有個(gè)三層的紅酒塔
The guy who gets your wine flies around on a wire.
給客人倒酒的服務(wù)生綁著鋼索飛來飛去
Like the "Peter Pan".
就像小飛俠彼得潘一樣
No. Not like the "Peter Pan".
不 不是像彼得潘
This is a high-end place.
這個(gè)地方檔次很高
Oh, yeah, because all the finest restaurants in the world
是嗎 世界上所有高級的餐廳里
have people flying around on wires.
都有人拉著鋼索飛來飛去
You know, you used to go bananas
以前有個(gè)日本人把蝦扔到你盤子里
when a Japanese guy flipped a shrimp onto your plate.
你都會抓狂到上躥下跳
Now look at you.
你再看看你現(xiàn)在這副刀槍不入的樣子
- Try her again. - Fine.
再給她打一次-好吧
And just so you know, it's not like Peter Pan.
再跟你說一次 那餐廳不是像彼得潘那樣的
I mean, nobody wears tights or anything.
那些服務(wù)生不會穿緊身褲什么的
Well, if they're not wearing anything,
如果他們什么都不穿
I don't want them flying over my food.
我可不想讓他們在我的食物上飛來飛去
Hello.
喂
Phil, it's me. Can I talk to Claire?
菲爾 是我 能讓克萊爾接電話嗎
Yeah. One second, Jay.
好的 稍等 杰
- It's your dad. - No. No, no. Can't. Unh-unh.
是你爸-不不不 不接
She doesn't want to talk right now.
她現(xiàn)在不想說話
- Ay, no. - Why not?
完蛋了-為什么
Uh, she's a little too upset.
她有點(diǎn)傷心過度
Phil, put her on.
菲爾 讓她接電話
He says he wants to --
他說他想
Hang up the phone.
把電話掛掉
I'm sorry, Jay.
抱歉 杰
She says I have to go.
她讓我掛電話
You know, she's my daughter and everything,
雖然她是我親生閨女
but that guy seriously needs to grow a pair.
但那小子真該有點(diǎn)骨氣
Well, we tried.
我們盡力了
Vegas, here we come.
拉斯維加斯 我們來啦
Turn around the car.
掉頭
Only 'cause I want to.
我這是自愿掉頭 可不是被你逼的
This is a-a beautiful home.
你們家太漂亮了
I love the throwback to the '60s.
我超愛六十年代復(fù)古風(fēng)
Although if this was the '60s,
只不過如果現(xiàn)在真是六十年代的話
we'd be a couple of "confirmed bachelors",
我們就是一對"堅(jiān)定的獨(dú)身主義者"
and Lily would be a Yorkie.
則莉莉會是一只約克夏
And I'd still be trapped in a loveless marriage.
而我則會繼續(xù)被困在無愛的婚姻中
Oh, Amelia.
艾米莉亞
Oh, you are funny!
你真風(fēng)趣
I really like you guys.
我真的很喜歡你們
I mean, I haven't had a lot of time
我還沒有時(shí)間
to meet the other parents.
去見其他的家長
You know, single mom, hectic work schedule...
我是單身媽媽 工作又忙
Now, what do you do, Amelia?
艾米莉亞 你是做什么工作的
I own a few restaurants.
我有幾家餐廳
I just opened one nearby.
我最近在附近又開了一家
Oh, my gosh. Are you that Amelia?
天吶 就是那家艾米莉亞餐廳嗎
Oh, my gosh!
天吶
We've heard wonderful things about the restaurant.
我們聽說那家餐廳很棒
It must be doing well.
那里生意一定很好
We can never seem to get a r -- a reservation.
我們一直都訂不到位子
- Can't get in. - Can't.
都進(jìn)不去-進(jìn)不去
Oh, well, that's no problem.
這事好辦
The next time you call, just tell them --
下次你打電話時(shí) 就告訴他們
Oh. One second.
等一下
Oh, I'm sorry. Tell them what?
不好意思 告訴他們什么
Hello?
喂
Well, did you show it to him? And what did he say?
你給他看了嗎 他說什么
Okay. Uh, hold on a second.
好的 等一下
I'm gonna switch phones.
我換個(gè)電話
I'm sorry. It's the restaurant.
不好意思 是餐廳的事
Excuse me just a minute.
我失陪一下
You said to tell them something.
你剛才叫我們在訂位時(shí)跟他們說某句話的
Did you hear that?
你聽見了嗎
When we know what to say, we're in.
等我們知道該說什么了 就有特權(quán)了
Oh! This is very exciting.
太讓人激動(dòng)了
I've never had an in at a restaurant before.
我還從沒在餐廳里享受過特權(quán)
They'll probably greet us at the door by our names,
也許我們一到 他們就會在門口迎接我們 還叫得出我們的名字
show us to our favorite table...
然后把我們帶到我們最愛的桌前
They'll let us play fast and loose with the menu,
我們可以隨意變換菜單
order lunch things for dinner, dinner things for lunch!
晚餐時(shí)點(diǎn)午飯的食物 午餐時(shí)點(diǎn)晚餐的食物
- It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. - Cameron!
-沒事 沒事 沒事 -卡梅隆
- It's fine. - Stop moving.
沒事-別動(dòng)了
You there?
你還在嗎
Put him on the phone.
讓他接電話
Oh, that's the baby monitor. Should we turn it off?
是嬰兒監(jiān)護(hù)器 要關(guān)掉嗎
Who am I speaking to?
你是哪位
Well...Mr. Campbell,
好吧 坎貝爾先生
you need to replace the extremely expensive countertop
你要把廚房那個(gè)非常貴的工作臺面換掉
that one of your incompetent workers clearly ruined
上次叫你手下的笨蛋工人來修冰箱
when he was supposed to be fixing the refrigerator.
結(jié)果他卻把工作臺面弄壞了
Okay, this is why she's so successful.
這就是她這么成功的原因
She's tough but calm.
嚴(yán)厲但卻鎮(zhèn)定
Because I'm not an idiot!!
因?yàn)槲也皇前装V
As is evidenced by my law degree,
我可是法律學(xué)畢業(yè)的
which I will happily dust off and use to crush you in court
你要是不在接下來的七十二小時(shí)內(nèi)
if you don't fix it, replace it,
把它給我修好 換掉
or send me a check in the next 72 hours.
或是開賠款支票給我的話 我就上法庭告死你
You know what? Stay right there.
這樣吧 你呆在那
Don't move.
不要走
Act like you weren't listening.
裝作你剛才什么都沒聽見一樣
What does that look like?
怎么裝
I'm so sorry.
很抱歉
I have to run down to the restaurant for a minute.
我得去一下餐廳
I really feel terrible asking,
我都不好意思說出口
but do -- would you guys mind --
但是你們介不介意
- Oh, it's not a problem. We'll watch the kids. - Okay.
-沒問題 我們會幫你照看孩子 -好的
Oh, yes, you go take care
沒錯(cuò) 你去照料
of that fabulous restaurant of yours
你那間我們迫不及待
that we cannot wait to try.
想要擠進(jìn)去的餐廳
And when we do call, Amelia, you said to --
艾米莉亞 我們預(yù)約時(shí)要說什么
Jackson, mommy will be right back.
杰克遜 媽媽一會就回來
Okay. Thanks, you guys, so much.
真是太謝謝你們了
I owe you big time.
我欠你們個(gè)大人情
Did you hear that?
聽到了嗎
She owes us big time.
她說欠了我們很大的人情
You know, she also has that restaurant in Las Vegas
拉斯維加斯那間斟酒服務(wù)生掛著鋼絲
where the sommeliers fly around on wires.
飛來飛去的餐廳也是她開的
Oh, my gosh. Lily, thank you for being such a trouper
天吶 莉莉 謝謝你這么討那邊那位
with Mr. Personality over there.
不說話的小家伙的喜歡
I'm gonna get you a treat.
我要好好地獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)你一下
Oh, a juice box broke in here. It's all wet inside.
一盒果汁漏了 里面都濕了
Will you stop gasping? It's just a diaper --
你用得著那么大驚小怪嗎 只是一片尿片
Okay. We need a game plan.
好吧 我們得想個(gè)計(jì)劃
We need to rehearse exactly what we're gonna say
我們要排練一下到底要說什么
because that is the only way I'm gonna hold it together
因?yàn)楫?dāng)我的寶貝孩子們用批判
when my babies are looking at me
和厭惡的眼神望著我時(shí)
with judgment and disgust.
那是唯一能讓我不會崩潰的辦法了
First of all, that's how they always look at us.
首先 他們一直都是那樣看我們的
Oh, Phil.
菲爾
Secondly, this isn't as traumatic as you think.
其次 他們受的創(chuàng)傷沒有你想象的那么大
Honey, I walked in on my parents having sex once.
親愛的 我有一次也曾撞見我爸媽做愛
It was -- oh -- awful.
那簡直 太糟糕了
I can't even get the image out of my mind.
我甚至沒法把那個(gè)畫面從我的腦海里抹去
Claire, we're not your parents. We're in much better shape.
克萊爾 我們不像你的父母 咱倆狀態(tài)好多了
Okay. You want to know the worst thing?
好吧 你知道最糟糕的是什么嗎
They didn't even talk about it.
他們連談都不跟我談
They just let it hang there.
他們就讓那件事懸在那
I'm not gonna do that to our kids.
我不會那樣對我們的孩子
Phil, this --
菲爾
this is a defining moment for us as parents.
這是我們作為家長的關(guān)鍵性時(shí)刻
How we handle this could shape how they feel
我們對這件事的處理方式
about sex and intimacy for the rest of their lives!
會影響他們余生對性和親密的看法
Claire. Honey.
克萊爾 親愛的
Honey, this is only a big deal if we make it a big deal.
親愛的 只要咱倆不小題大做 這就不是什么大事
We set the tone here. So let's just play it cool.
這件事的基調(diào)是咱倆定的 冷靜對待就是了
Act like it was a big, funny mix-up.
就把這當(dāng)成是一個(gè)有趣的大混戰(zhàn)
Crack a few jokes. Lighten the mood.
說幾個(gè)笑話 緩和一下氣氛
Jokes.
笑話
What kind of jokes?
怎樣的笑話
Well, this is...
這是
I'm just spitballin' here, but --
我先隨便舉個(gè)例子
What if I was all, "Knock, knock"...
如果我說 敲門敲門
and they were like, "Who's there"?
他們會說 是誰啊
And I was all, "Someone who doesn't want to see
我就說 不想撞到
their parents doing it.
自己父母嘿咻的人
That's why we knocked".
所以我們才敲門
Again, this is -- this is very rough.
當(dāng)然這還要修改一下
Why are they still up there?
他們怎么還在樓上
How long does sex take?
嘿咻一般要多久
Oh, my god. Stop talking.
天吶 不要說了
Did you guys notice
你們倆注意到了嗎
that dad had the same look on his face
老爸剛才的表情就像是
as when he smells a new car?
看到了一款新車一樣
I need to leave.
我要離開
I need to go to camp.
我要去露營
This is gonna be so weird when they come down.
他們下來的時(shí)候肯定會很尷尬
Let's just go. Okay? Come on.
我們走吧 好嗎 走吧
Wait. But I'm hungry.
等等 我餓了
We'll get breakfast. Let's just go. Come on!
我們?nèi)ベI早餐 走吧 快走
Let's go. Come on.
走啊 快走
Where are you going?
你們要去哪
Anywhere.
哪都行
Where is your mother? I need to talk to her.
你媽媽在哪 我要跟她談?wù)?/p>
I don't think it's a good time right now.
我覺得這個(gè)時(shí)機(jī)不太合適
She won't come out of her room.
她待在房間里不出來
She's really upset, isn't she?
她很郁悶 對吧
Big time.
超郁悶
How'd you know?
你們怎么知道的
We called.
我們打過電話來
Tell me exactly what she said.
告訴我她到底是怎么說的
I don't know. There was just a lot of screaming.
我不知道 就聽到她一直在叫
Where was your father when all this was going on?
發(fā)生這些事時(shí) 你爸爸在哪
Oh, he was right behind her.
他就在她身后
Oh! It's not coming out! It's not coming out!
擦不掉 擦不掉
Blot! Don't rub! Blot!
要吸干那些果汁 不要擦 要吸
We are beyond blotting and rubbing.
我們已經(jīng)過了吸污和抹擦的階段了
I think we've moved on to sweating and crying.
就等著一身大汗和痛哭流涕了
Okay, okay. Let's not panic.
好了 好了 不要慌
We'll just -- we'll tell Amelia what happened,
我們就對艾米莉亞實(shí)話實(shí)說
and then we'll pay to have it cleaned.
然后由我們負(fù)擔(dān)清洗費(fèi)
What if it can't be cleaned, Mitchell?!
米奇爾 萬一這個(gè)洗不掉怎么辦
Okay, okay. Then we'll pay for a new rug.
好吧 那我們就賠她一塊新的地毯
Are you insane?
你瘋了吧
This is a limited-edition alpaca hand-made stark rug!
這是限量版手工制作的羊駝呢地毯
I saw it in Architectural Digest.
我在《建筑學(xué)文摘》中看到過
It cost $50,000. It was in Diane Keaton's house.
一塊賣5萬美元 戴安·基頓家里也有一塊
戴安·基頓 美國著名女演員
Oh, no, it was in, oh, what's-her-name's house.
不是 是那個(gè) 那個(gè)叫什么名字
Um, from "Prizzi's Honor".
她演過《普里茲家族的榮譽(yù)》
From -- uh, oh, oh, she was in "Addams Family".
還有這個(gè)這個(gè) 《阿達(dá)一族》
You know, she --
你知道的 還有
Anjelica Huston!
是安耶利卡·休斯頓
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
對對對
Oh! Oh, my god. $50,000 for a rug?!
天哪 一塊地毯賣五萬美金
Cam, we don't have that kind of money.
小卡 我們哪有那么多錢
Maybe she won't make us pay.
也許她不會讓我們賠
I mean, we wouldn't make someone pay
想想看 假如有人弄臟了我們的地毯
if this happened to us.
我們也不會讓人家賠的
Did you not hear her on the phone?
你沒聽見她在電話里說的話嗎
Fix it. Replace it. Write me a check.
給我修好它 換掉它 開賠款支票給我
She probably has that embroidered on a pillow.
她可能已經(jīng)把這句話繡到枕頭上了
Right next to a jar of human tears.
旁邊就放了一罐人耳朵
Maybe we can turn this around.
也許我們可以把它轉(zhuǎn)一下[還有“逆轉(zhuǎn)形勢”的意思]
How? It looks like someone bled out over here.
怎么弄 看上去就像有人在這流血了一樣
No. I mean the rug.
不 我說的是地毯
Maybe we can turn the whole rug around,
也許我們可以把整張地毯轉(zhuǎn)一圈
put it under the couch.
把這塊污漬放到沙發(fā)底下
See? No one would ever know it's there.
明白了吧 沒人會發(fā)覺的
Well, you know, we would know.
天知 地知 你知 我知
Well...
那么
What are you thinking?
你在想什么
You don't want to know.
你不會想知道的
No, tell me, 'cause I'm --
不 說來聽聽吧 因?yàn)槲?/p>
I think I'm thinking the same thing.
我覺得我們想得一樣
I seriously doubt that,
我深表懷疑
because now I'm thinking it was Joan Collins' house.
因?yàn)槲以谙雱偛拍莻€(gè)應(yīng)該是瓊·柯林斯[美國女演員]家
Okay.
好吧
Great.
很好
Gloria, what are you -- what are you doing here?
歌洛莉亞 你 你來干嗎
Wait, where are the kids?
慢著 孩子們呢
They just left.
他們剛剛出去了
They told me that you were very upset.
他們跟我說你很郁悶
- Oh, god. -And you have every right to be.
天哪-你完全有權(quán)郁悶
It was bad.
這件事太可怕了
I know that.
我知道
Claire, it was an accident.
克萊爾 這只是個(gè)意外
That doesn't make it any better.
那也無法改變它所造成的傷害
Okay, you're right. I know how you feel.
好吧 你說的沒錯(cuò) 我了解你的感受
- Oh, god. - It happened to me before,
天哪-我也曾遇到過這樣的事
with another woman.
不過是和另外一個(gè)女人
And that time, I was the one getting it.
而且那次我是受害者["被上的那個(gè)"]
And it hurt.
那感覺真的很難過[真的很疼]
I'm sorry it had to come out like this,
很抱歉我如此直白
but you have to admit that you're only happy
但是你還是得承認(rèn)
只有當(dāng)你是主導(dǎo)者的時(shí)候才會覺得開心
when you're the one cracking the whip.
被理解為 "只有當(dāng)你拿著鞭子的時(shí)候才會覺得開心"
What?
你說啥
Come on.
別裝了
被理解為 "我們都知道你倆喜歡女上式"
We all know how you ride Phil.
我們都知道菲爾是個(gè)妻管嚴(yán)
But maybe if you just let go a little,
但是如果你能看開一點(diǎn)
maybe even taste my cupcakes,
或許試著嘗嘗我的紙杯蛋糕["咪咪"]
這兩句他們理解成了3P
I will join you.
我就會跟你一起參加糕餅義賣[我可以跟你們一起做]
No -- unh-unh. No. No.
使 使 使不得
I-I am so confused right now.
我 我完全迷糊了
I may pass out.
我快暈過去了
What are you talking about?
你在說什么呢
What are you talking about?
你又是在說什么
The kids just walked in on
剛剛孩子們走進(jìn)臥室
me and Phil I-in bed.
看到我和菲爾在床上 那個(gè)
And we've just spent the last hour
我們剛才在臥室里
holed up in our room
窩了一個(gè)小時(shí)
trying to figure out what to say to them.
考慮該跟孩子們說什么
That's what I'm talking about.
我剛才說的就是這個(gè)
Can I use your computer? I just need to check one e-mail.
可以用下你的電腦嗎 我要查一下郵件
Yeah, the kitchen.
可以 電腦在廚房里
Gloria, I just switched us to the next flight.
歌洛莉亞 我剛才換了下一個(gè)航班
Now, did you guys get everything straightened out?
你們的事情都解決了吧
Claire is very upset
克萊爾心情不好
because the kids just walk in on them having sex.
因?yàn)樗麄兒龠莸臅r(shí)候被孩子撞見了
Aw, geez.
天啊
Oh, then we're all up to speed.
好了 現(xiàn)在大家都知道了
She's so upset that she hasn't even had time
她心情糟糕到?jīng)]時(shí)間
to apply her make-up or use her computer.
化妝和開電腦了
W-what are you even doing here, dad?
你們來這兒干什么 老爸
I don't think you should be the one
我覺得站在你的立場上
doing the questioning here, missy.
你沒權(quán)利質(zhì)問我了
Don't get mad at her.
干嗎生她的氣
你老婆剛才還要加入我們呢
Your wife's the one who just offered up her cupcakes.
你老婆剛才還要給我們吃她做的紙杯蛋糕呢
Phil.
菲爾
Good thing we had mom's gas card.
還好我們帶了老媽的加油卡
Don't make me regret buying you that lighter, dude.
不要讓我后悔給你買了打火機(jī)
Put it down.
收起來
Okay, I'm just gonna say it.
好吧 我憋不住了
Our parents are totally irresponsible.
我們的爸媽太不負(fù)責(zé)任了
And I'm not just talking about us walking in
我不是說我們撞見
on their...little freak show earlier.
他們剛才上演的那變態(tài)一幕的事
Just let it go.
算了吧
No. We're lucky to be alive.
這怎么行 我們活著已經(jīng)很幸運(yùn)了
How often do they let Luke go -- go to school
他們有多少次讓盧克在冬天
in shorts in the winter?
穿短褲去上學(xué)
And they let me ride in the front seat
在我體重還沒到六十磅的時(shí)候
before I was 60 pounds.
他們就讓我坐汽車前座
And they never shut the gate
還有我們很小的時(shí)候
at the top of the stairs when we were babies.
他們從來不關(guān)頂樓的門
Do you know how many times you fell on your head?
你記得你摔地上碰了多少次頭嗎
Do you?
記得嗎
No.
記不得
We get it -- it was bad.
我們明白你的意思 他們這樣確實(shí)不太好
But, you know, I --
但是 我
I guess...
我覺得
it's better than having parents who fight all the time.
總比一天到晚都吵架的家長好吧
Maybe.
也許吧
My friend Jacob's parents are getting divorced.
我朋友杰克布的父母離婚了
He has to move out of his house.
他必須搬出現(xiàn)在的房子
They told him last week.
他們上個(gè)禮拜才告訴他
That sucks.
真慘
He'll get used to it.
他很快就會習(xí)慣了
Half of my friends' parents are divorced.
我有一半的朋友父母都離婚了
Mine too.
我朋友也是
It's insane.
這世界太瘋狂了
So it's a good thing mom and dad still do sex.
這么說來 爸媽依然嘿咻 這是件好事
Better than mom leaving the stove on,
總比老媽忘了關(guān)火爐好
which she's done twice this month.
她這個(gè)月已經(jīng)忘了兩次了
I just realized we haven't even gotten
我才發(fā)現(xiàn)事情還沒到達(dá)
to the worst part of it yet.
最糟糕的情況
Which is?
最糟糕的情況是什么
They're gonna want to talk about it.
他們可能會跟我們談這件事
Well, maybe not.
也有可能不會
Are you kidding?
你開玩笑吧
Their parents never talked about anything,
他們的家長以前啥都沒跟他們談過
so they want to talk about everything.
所以他們現(xiàn)在什么都要跟我們談
Yeah, they called a family meeting
也對 就為了改喝脫脂牛奶這件事
when we switched to 1% milk.
他們還特別召開了一次家庭會議
I don't know where those kids are.
我不知道那幾個(gè)孩子去哪了
What is more important
還有什么比在臥室門上
than putting a working lock on a bedroom door?
裝一把好用的鎖更重要的呢
You are one to talk.
你還好意思跟我講大道理
What is that supposed to mean?
你什么意思
You don't remember
你不記得
when I walked in on you and mom that time?
我那次撞見你和老媽干那事了么
Gloria, can we please go now?!
歌洛莉亞 我們可以走了嗎
So why don't you just get off your high horse, dad.
你還是少在這扮清高了 老爹
At least I am trying to handle this
至少我在試圖解決問題
better than the two of you did.
總比你倆當(dāng)時(shí)的態(tài)度要端正
What did we do?
我們當(dāng)時(shí)怎么解決的
You made gimlets and went back to your room.
你兌了一杯雞尾酒 然后就回屋了
What were we supposed to do?
那你說我們應(yīng)該怎么辦
You -- you -- you could have talked to me.
你 你 你們可以跟我談?wù)劙?/p>
You could have made sure that I was okay.
你可以關(guān)心一下我是否還好
Want to talk about it?
你想讓我跟你談嗎
Yes. Fine.
好吧 我們談
Your mother and I were watching
你媽和我當(dāng)時(shí)在看《哈特對哈特》
a particularly racy episode of "Hart to Hart".
那一集里面有成人鏡頭
Stefanie Powers had to go undercover as a call girl.
?斯蒂芬妮·鮑爾斯要當(dāng)臥底 扮演應(yīng)召女郎
Mnh-mnh. Dad.-Hang on.
-夠了 老爸 -還沒說完呢
This whole story makes more sense
如果你知道我很愛高筒靴
if you know I got a thing for thigh-high boots.
那么你就不會覺得那件事很詭異了
Oh, gross! Gross. You are ruining sex for me,
太惡心了 你害我失去了性趣
and boots.
還毀了我對靴子的愛
Working okay for you?
用得還順手吧
Oh, yes.
對 對
I was sending an e-mail to my brother in Colombia.
我在給在哥倫比亞的兄弟發(fā)郵件
Um, I was telling him about Claire.
我在給他介紹克萊爾
You know, I realize there's so much I don't know about her.
我發(fā)現(xiàn)我還真是太不了解她了
Like, for example, what is her favorite word?
像是 她最喜歡哪個(gè)單詞
Or what was her first pet's name?
或是她第一只寵物的名字
Gloria, I'm not an idiot.
歌洛莉亞 我不是傻子
Are you trying to get Claire's password?
你是想知道克萊爾的密碼嗎
Okay, fine.
好吧 沒錯(cuò)
I sent her something by mistake.
我錯(cuò)給她發(fā)了一些東西
I need to get into Claire's e-mail
所以我要趕在克萊爾看到之前
to erase it before she sees it.
進(jìn)她的郵箱里把它刪掉
Before I see what?
在我看到什么之前
Hola, Claire.
你好呀 克萊爾
Hi, Gloria.
你好 歌洛莉亞
Before I see what?
在我看到什么之前
It's so embarrassing.
這太難啟齒了
You see, Jay and I --
是這樣的 我跟杰
It's a naked picture of Gloria.
是歌洛莉亞的裸照
Yes.
沒錯(cuò)
Naked.
裸照
I was gonna send it to Jay.
我本來是想發(fā)給杰的
You see everything. The whole body.
我在照片里是全裸的 正面全裸
- I need to sit. - Okay.
我得坐會兒-好吧
Wow, dad.
老爸
So, you just got done giving me a lecture
你剛才還教育我要
on the importance of locking my bedroom door
鎖好自己的臥室門
while in my house to retrieve naked pictures
可其實(shí)你跑我家來是為了拿回
that your wife accidentally sent me.
你妻子不小心發(fā)給我的裸照的
The irony is just occurring to me.
我也是剛意識到這件事有多諷刺
What are you doing?
你干嗎
What I'm doing...is deleting it.
我要 刪了它
Good for you.
干得好
Let's go to Vegas!
我們?nèi)ダ咕S加斯吧
Ciao!
再見
Do us a favor -- no pictures.
幫我們個(gè)忙 別再照相了
Oh, Gloria, listen.
歌洛莉亞 等一下
We do need to talk about the bake sale at some point.
我們得找個(gè)時(shí)間談?wù)劯怙灹x賣的事
I have some concerns.
我有一些擔(dān)憂
- Of course you do. - Yes. - All right!
意料之中-是啊-走咯
What do we do now?
我們現(xiàn)在怎么辦
Okay, I'm really afraid
好吧 我很擔(dān)心
of reading this situation the wrong way,
我是想錯(cuò)了
but I'm 80% sure you're coming on to me.
但是我有百分之八十的把握覺得你在勾引我
Okay, now...40%.
好吧 只剩百分之四十了
Mitchell, we need to make a decision.
米切爾 我們得做出決定了
It was the perfect plan.
那個(gè)計(jì)劃很完美
Turn the rug, and she wouldn't find the stain for years.
把地毯轉(zhuǎn)一下 她好幾年都不會發(fā)現(xiàn)那塊污漬
But we couldn't do it.
但是我們做不到
We're too honest.
我們太誠實(shí)了
There are certain moments in life that define you,
生活中總會遇到那種能反映出你真實(shí)人格的時(shí)刻
and this is one of those moments.
而這就是其中之一
Oh, guys, I'm so sorry that took so long.
實(shí)在抱歉 我這么久才回來
Oh, my god. What happened here?
天啊 這是怎么回事呀
Jackson did it.
這是杰克遜弄的
He grabbed Lily's strawberry juice and started drinking it.
他搶了莉莉的草莓汁就開始喝
What?
什么
Before we could stop him, it was all over everything.
我們還沒反應(yīng)過來 他就已經(jīng)把它弄灑了
- Oh, my god. Oh, my god! - We are horrible people.
-天啊 天啊 -我們真是一對爛人呀
I'm only following your lead.
我只是跟著你說而已
Yeah, so close that you stepped on the back of my shoe.
是啊 還不忘在旁邊添油加醋
- Come here. Jackson's allergic to strawberries. - What?
-過來 杰克遜對草莓過敏 -什么
His throat will close up,
他的喉嚨會堵住
and he can go into anaphylactic shock.
然后他可能會有過敏性休克
I need to inject him right now!
我必須馬上給他打針
Oh! Are you sure? He seems all right to me.
你確定嗎 我覺得他挺好的呀
Yeah, maybe just get him some fresh air.
是啊 也許讓他呼吸點(diǎn)新鮮空氣就沒事了
Stop talking! He really hates this.
別說了 他很討厭打針
And so I'm gonna need you
所以我要你們倆
to help me pin down his arms and his legs, okay?
幫我按住他的胳膊和腿 好嗎
- You know what? - Jackson, honey,
實(shí)際上-杰克遜 寶貝兒
mommy's so sorry to have to do this,
很抱歉媽媽不得不這么做
- Amelia -- - but it's only gonna hurt for a second.
阿米莉亞-但是只會疼一下而已
His arms!!
快按住他的胳膊
Okay. Hurry. Here we go.
好的 快點(diǎn) 準(zhǔn)備打了
One, two --
一 二
- Wait! - Wait!
等等-等等
Jackson didn't drink the juice!
杰克遜沒喝草莓汁
I stepped on Lily's bag and a juice box fell and we panicked
我踩到了麗麗的包 結(jié)果里面的一盒果汁掉了出來
because we heard you on the phone
我們嚇壞了 因?yàn)槲覀兟牭侥阍陔娫捓镎f的話
and we can't afford Joan Collins' rug!
我們可賠不起瓊·柯林斯[美國演員]的地毯
We are so, so sorry. We could not feel any worse.
我們真的非常非常抱歉 這感覺真是糟透了
Oh, no. That's bad.
不 這下壞了
Number 19!
十九號
- Number 19! - Yeah. Yeah.
十九號-來了 來了
Oh, uh, can we have some napkins, please?
可以給我們幾張紙巾嗎
All out of napkins.
紙巾用完了
Paper towels in bathroom, Mitchell.
洗手間里有手紙 米切爾
He knows your name!
他知道你的名字
And, uh...I'm just gonna say it --
我就直說了
I'm really sorry about what happened.
我為之前發(fā)生的事情感到非常抱歉
Well, we're -- we're not sorry about what happened.
我們 我們不是對那件事感到抱歉
We're sorry that you saw what happened.
而是對你們看到了那件事而感到抱歉
Yeah, okay. They -- they get that.
好了 他們 他們明白的
Let's see.
這么說吧
Uh, no one wants to see their parents...
沒人愿意看見自己的父母
- Your sensuality... - ...not dressed.
你的感官享受-一絲不掛
Basically, it's two adults.
基本上 這事是兩個(gè)成年人做的
Adults.
成年人
It's like you're shaking hands.
就像是握手
But you're not using your hands at all.
但是握的不是手
I can't handle a big family talk about this.
我可受不了一大家子人坐在那談?wù)撨@種事
We're not gonna have a choice.
我們別無選擇
So when they start talking,
所以當(dāng)他們談的時(shí)候
just smile and nod and think about something else.
我們就微笑點(diǎn)頭然后想別的唄
Yeah, it's easy. Just like at school.
沒錯(cuò) 這很容易 就像在學(xué)校上課一樣
So, I-I guess what I'm saying here
所以 我想我要說的就是
is that as you get older
等你們長大了
and...explore your sexuality, you will discover
開始嘗試自己的性行為時(shí) 你們會發(fā)現(xiàn)
that as long as you are in a committed relationship
只要你們是和情投意合的成年人
with consenting adults,
建立了一段忠誠的感情
there's really nothing to be embarrassed about.
這件事就沒什么好尷尬的
And let's face it -- your mom can't keep her hands off me
咱們都知道 只要我一展示我那結(jié)實(shí)的肌肉
whenever the gun show comes to town.
你們老媽就對我愛不釋手了
Good one, dad.
說得好 老爸
Humor makes difficult situations easier!
幽默緩解了尷尬的局面
Wow. Really?
真的嗎
Totally.
絕對的
You talked to us on our level
你們像朋友一樣跟我們聊天
but without being condescending!
卻又不失家長的威嚴(yán)
We did.
的確
All right.
很好
I guess we did.
看來的確是這樣
Yay, us.
咱倆真厲害
I think we really handled that well.
我覺得咱倆真的處理得很好
Me too. You were excellent.
我也這么想 你棒極了
You were pretty good.
你也不錯(cuò)
Ugh, this is such a weird day.
今天真是太詭異了
I know it.
我知道
By the way...
還要說一句
happy anniversary.
結(jié)婚紀(jì)念日快樂
It always is.
跟你結(jié)婚的每一天都很快樂
Hey mom, can I get --
媽 我能不能
Oh, my god! Enough!
天啊 你們兩個(gè)夠了吧
Hey, what's this?
這是什么
Your anniversary present.
你們的結(jié)婚紀(jì)念日禮物
That's very sweet.
你們真是太貼心了
My goodness.
上帝啊
What is it?
是什么
A door lock.
門鎖
How embarrassing.
真尷尬
Thank you.
謝謝你們
We'll use it all the time.
我們會每天都用的
We thought the lock was a really good idea.
我們覺得送鎖給他倆是個(gè)好主意
The problem is it makes a noise.
可問題是 這東西上鎖的時(shí)候有聲音
A loud noise.
還很大聲
It's hard for me to look at dad afterwards.
在那以后我都很難面對老爸了
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