Success Can Be Defined in Many Ways
The newspaper I previously worked for employs a very friendly 1)receptionist. All receptionists are supposed to be friendly, but Connie Abbott has such a positive tone, she could brighten your day by saying, “Did anyone ever tell you that you look like a movie star? You ought to go to Hollywood and 2)audition for the 3)title role in a new movie: 4)The Return of King Kong.”
“A movie star?” you’d say. “Thank you so much. That’s the best compliment I’ve received since my music teacher told me I sing as well as 5)Milli Vanilli.”
I appreciated Connie’s friendliness, because I’ve encountered a few unfriendly receptionists, including one at the Indian 6)embassy in Washington D.C. who could make both 7)King Kong and 8)Godzilla 9)scamper away in fear.
During a stop at the embassy several years ago, I watched her 10)harass visitor after visitor and thought to myself, “One billion people to choose from and they couldn’t hire anyone friendlier. This woman could 11)single-handedly ruin India’s tourist industry. If the Indian government were smarter, they’d 12)appoint her to a new position: Director of Prisons. The crime rate would drop so fast, many politicians would lose money.”
In contrast, Connie is so pleasant that some people are willing to call the newspaper every day just to greet her and say,
“When’s my wedding picture going to appear in the paper? Hopefully before the divorce.”
Whatever they say, Connie remains friendly and polite. She’s an excellent receptionist and a true success. Yes, a success.
For some reason, we seem to 13)reserve the term “success” for people with money, 14)fame or power. But who gave them such a 15)monopoly?[1] Alan Greenspan? You don’t have to be an actor or 16)entrepreneur or software 17)whiz to be a success. Receptionists, farmers, teachers, 18)janitors, 19)homemakers, 20)plumbers can be just as successful, even if they’ve never made a single appearance on [2] Oprah.
In fact, if Oprah Winfrey invited me on her television show, I’d tell her all about it.
Oprah: “It’s my pleasure today to welcome the world-renowned expert on success, Melvin Durai, author of the new self-help book 21)I’m Successful, You’re Successful. He says he can 22)spot a successful person a mile away.”
Me: “Yes, Oprah. My clients pay me thousands of dollars to tell them they’re successful. Many of them 23)have no clue. Just the other day, I told 24)Julia Roberts that she’s a success. She was so excited, she gave me her 25)Oscar.”
Oprah: “Well, let’s talk about other celebrities. What about 26)Howard Stern, the radio shock 27)jock who has 28)offended many people with his ethnic and religious jokes? Is he a success?”
Me: “Yes, of course he’s a success.”
Oprah: “What do you mean? Don’t you think he’s an 29)idiot?”
Me: “Yes, but he’s a successful idiot.”
Oprah: “Please explain that to our audience. I can see a few confused faces.”
Me: “Well, can you think of a better idiot than Howard Stern? He’s the best idiot on the radio. He plays the role of idiot well. That makes him a success as an idiot. In fact, if we had an Idiot30)Hall of Fame, he’d be voted in 31)unanimously.”
Oprah: “What about ordinary people who don’t appear on television every day at 4 p.m. like me? Can they be successful?”
Me: “Yes, of course, Oprah. It doesn’t matter what you do—if you do it well, you can consider yourself a success. Just because you don’t have money, fame or power, don’t let anyone tell you you’re not a success.”
Oprah: “Wow! I never thought of it like that. Would you like to be a regular guest on my show?”
Me: “Really? Oh my 32)gosh. Now my mother may actually believe I’m a success.”
我以前工作的那家報社曾經(jīng)雇用過一位非常友善的接待員。其實待人和善是對所有接待員的基本要求,但康妮·阿伯特總能用積極的口吻為你一整天帶來好心情:“有沒有人曾說你長得很像一個電影明星?你應該去好萊塢試演那部新電影《金剛歸來》的主角?!?
“電影明星?”你會說,“太謝謝你了。這是我的音樂老師夸我唱歌唱得像米利·凡尼利一樣好以后,我得到的最好的夸獎?!?
我欣賞康妮的友善,因為我碰到過一些不太友好的接待員,其中包括一位印度駐美大使館的接待員,她的惡劣態(tài)度會讓龐大的金剛和怪獸哥斯拉都倉皇奔逃。
幾年前,有一次我在印度駐美大使館逗留,親眼目睹她“炮轟”一個又一個來客。于是我心里想:“印度有十億人,他們就不能雇一個友善一點的人嗎?這個女人單憑一己之力就能給印度的旅游業(yè)帶來滅頂之災。如果印度政府明智一點的話,他們應該給她安排另一個職位:監(jiān)獄主管。這樣一來,印度社會的犯罪率肯定會大幅度下降,許多政客的收入也會銳減。”
相反,康妮非常友善,以至于有人每天打電話到報社,就是為了聽到她的聲音:
“我的結(jié)婚照什么時候才會刊登出來呢?希望在離婚之前吧?!?
不管他們說什么,康妮總是一如既往地待人友善,彬彬有禮。她是一位優(yōu)秀的接待員,一個真正的成功者。對,一個成功者。
由于某些原因,我們似乎總覺得“成功”只屬于有錢、有名或有權(quán)力的人。但誰給了他們獨占“成功”的權(quán)利呢?艾倫·格林斯潘嗎?就算你不是演員,不是企業(yè)家,不是軟件奇才,你也可以是一個成功者。接待員、農(nóng)民、教師、看門人、家庭主婦、水管工人,他們都可以成功,哪怕他們從未在奧普拉的節(jié)目上露過一次臉。
事實上,如果奧普拉·溫弗瑞邀請我參加她的電視脫口秀節(jié)目的話,我會這樣對她說。
奧普拉:很榮幸,今天我們邀請到了世界著名的成功學專家,梅爾文·杜萊,他最近出版了一本勵志書《我成功,你成功》。他說他能在一里(500米)之外辨認出誰是成功人士。
我:對,奧普拉。我的客戶付給我?guī)浊涝?,要我告訴他們,他們是成功者。他們中許多人對于自己是否成功一無所知。就在前幾天,我告訴茱莉亞·羅伯茨說,她是一個成功者。她興奮得不得了,把她的奧斯卡小金人送給了我。
奧普拉:好了,我們談談別的名人吧?;羧A德·斯特恩,另類的電臺主持,他因為拿種族和宗教開玩笑而得罪了不少人,他是一個成功者嗎?
我:是的,他當然是一個成功者。
奧普拉:什么意思?難道你不認為他是一個白癡嗎?
我:沒錯,但他是一個成功的白癡。
奧普拉:能給觀眾解釋一下原因嗎?我看到有些觀眾很困惑。
我:好的。你能想到比霍華德·斯特恩更優(yōu)秀的白癡嗎?他是廣播界最出色的白癡。作為一個白癡,他盡職盡責,表現(xiàn)出色。所以說,他是一個成功的白癡。其實,如果我們設立一個“白癡名人堂”的話,他肯定會全票通過的。
奧普拉:那么,那些從來沒試過像我這樣每天下午四點在電視節(jié)目上露臉的普通人呢?他們也算是成功者嗎?
我:當然了,奧普拉。你從事什么工作并不重要,只要你干得出色,你就可以把自己看作是一個成功者。就算你沒有錢,沒有名望和權(quán)利,別人也絕不能說你不是一個成功的人。
奧普拉:嘩!我還沒從這個角度想過這個問題呢。你愿意今后經(jīng)常來參加我的節(jié)目嗎?
我:真的嗎?哦,我的天??!現(xiàn)在,恐怕我媽媽真的相信我是一個成功者了。