在網(wǎng)上偶然邂逅了著名作家畢淑敏的新作《破解幸福密碼》,里面提到的一個細節(jié)讓我印象深刻:“曾經(jīng)有報紙面向社會征集‘誰是世界上最幸福的人’這個題目的答案。各界人士紛紛應答。經(jīng)過遴選和投票,最后得出了四個答案:給孩子剛剛洗完澡,懷抱嬰兒面帶微笑的母親;給病人做完了一例成功手術,目送病人出院的醫(yī)生;在海灘上筑起了一座沙堡,望著自己勞動成果的頑童;寫完了小說最后一個字,畫上了句號的作家……”讀這些文字時,我腦子里冒出了不少關于“幸?!钡囊蓡?于是萌發(fā)了探討下“幸福”的想法。
毫無疑問,“幸福”是個惹人喜愛的字眼,更是一種令我們無限向往并努力追求的狀態(tài)!但是,究竟什么是幸福?相信每個人都有自己的答案!希望這期主題能引領我們開始一次關于“幸福”的探尋和思考。若問幸福在何方?諸君須向深處尋! ——Maisie
文字難度:★★☆
She was dancing. My crippled grandmother was dancing. I stood in the living room doorway absolutely stunned. I glanced at the kitchen table and sure enough—right under a small, framed drawing on the wall—was a freshly baked peach pie.
I heard her sing when I opened the door but did not want to interrupt the beautiful song by yelling I had arrived, so I just tiptoed to the living room. I looked at how her still-1)lean body bent beautifully, her arms greeting the sunlight that was pouring through the window. And her legs… Those legs that had stiffly walked, aided with a 2)cane, in 3)sensible shoes as long as I could remember. Now she was wearing beautiful dancing shoes and her legs obeyed her perfectly. No 4)limping. No stiffness. Just beautiful, fluid motion. She was the 5)pet of the dancing world. And then she’d had her accident and it was all over. I had read that in an old 6)newspaper clipping.
She turned around in a slow 7)pirouette and saw me standing in the doorway. Her song ended, and her beautiful movements with it, so abruptly that it felt like being shaken awake from a beautiful dream. The sudden silence 8)rang in my ears. Grandma looked so much like a kid caught with her hand in a cookie jar that I couldn’t help myself, and a slightly nervous laughter escaped. Grandma sighed and turned towards the kitchen. I followed her, not believing my eyes. She was walking with no difficulties in her beautiful shoes. We sat down by the table and cut ourselves big pieces of her delicious peach pie.
她在跳舞。我那身有殘疾的祖母居然在跳舞。我站在客廳的門口,被徹底驚呆了。我掃了一眼廚房的餐桌,果不其然,在餐桌上——墻上那幅小小的鑲框畫像的正下方——有一塊新鮮出爐的烤蜜桃派。
當我推門進屋的時候,我聽到了她在唱歌,但我不想大喊自己回來了,不想打斷那美妙的歌聲,于是我踮著腳尖走到客廳。我看著她那依然消瘦的身體優(yōu)雅地彎下,她的手臂迎向從窗口傾瀉而入的陽光。而她的腿……自我能記事以來,她總是拄著拐杖,穿著便鞋,走起路來腿腳僵硬。可現(xiàn)在,她正穿著美麗的舞鞋,而她的雙腿完全聽從著她的支配。不再蹣跚,不再僵硬。只有優(yōu)美、流暢的動作。她曾是舞蹈界的寵兒??墒呛髞硭庥隽艘粓鲆馔?舞蹈生涯因此而結(jié)束。我是從一張老舊的剪報中讀到這個的。
她緩緩地轉(zhuǎn)身做了一個足尖旋轉(zhuǎn),見到我站在門口。她的歌聲嘎然而止,還有她那優(yōu)美的動作,一切停止得如此突然,感覺像是從一場美夢中被人搖醒了。突如其來的寂靜沖擊著我的耳朵。祖母看起來很像是一個伸手從餅干罐里偷吃卻被抓了個正著的小孩,我不禁發(fā)出了一陣略帶一絲緊張的大笑。祖母嘆了口氣,轉(zhuǎn)身走向廚房。我跟在她身后,還是不敢相信自己的眼睛。她穿著那雙美麗的舞鞋,行走自如。我們坐在了桌邊,從她那美味的蜜桃派中切出了大大的幾塊,倆人一起吃。
“So…” I 9)blurted, “How did your leg heal?”
“To tell you the truth—my legs have been well all my life,” she said.
“But I don’t understand!” I said, “Your dancing career… I mean… You pretended all these years?
“Very much so,” Grandmother closed her eyes and savored the peach pie, “And for a very good reason.”
“What reason?”
“Your grandfather.”
“You mean he told you not to dance?”
“No, this was my choice. I am sure I would have lost him if I had continued dancing. I weighed fame and love against each other and love won.”
“那么……”我脫口而出道,“你的腿是怎么好了的?”
“跟你說實話吧——我的腿一直都挺好的,”她說。
“可是我不明白!”我說,“你的舞蹈事業(yè)……我是說……難道這些年來你一直在假裝?”
“的確如此,”祖母閉上眼睛,品嘗著蜜桃派,“而且是因為一個非常好的理由?!?
“什么理由?”
“你的祖父?!?
“你是說,他讓你不要再跳舞了?”
“不,這是我自己的選擇。我確信如果我再繼續(xù)跳舞的話,我就會失去他了。我權(quán)衡名利和愛情孰輕孰重之后,選擇了愛情?!?BR>
She thought for a while and then continued. “We were talking about engagement when your grandfather had to go to war. It was the most horrible day of my life when he left. I was so afraid of losing him, the only way I could stay sane was to dance. I put all my energy and time into practicing—and I became very good. Critics praised me, the public loved me, but all I could feel was the ache in my heart, not knowing whether the love of my life would ever return. Then I went home and read and re-read his letters until I fell asleep. He always ended his letters with ‘You are my Joy. I love you with my life’ and after that he wrote his name. And then one day a letter came. There were only three sentences: ‘I have lost my leg. I am no longer a whole man and now give you back your freedom. It is best you forget about me.’”
“I made my decision there and then. I 10)took my leave, and traveled away from the city. When I returned I had bought myself a cane and wrapped my leg tightly with bandages. I told everyone I had been in a car crash and that my leg would never completely heal again. My dancing days were over. No one suspected the story—I had learned to limp convincingly before I returned home. And I made sure the first person to hear of my accident was a reporter I knew well. Then I traveled to the hospital. They had pushed your grandfather outside in his wheelchair. There was a cane on the ground by his wheelchair. I took a deep breath, leaned on my cane and limped to him. ”
By now I had forgotten about the pie and listened to grandma,11)mesmerized. “What happened then?” I hurried her when she took her time eating some pie.
“I told him he was not the only one who had lost a leg, even if mine was still attached to me. I showed him newspaper clippings of my accident. ‘So if you think I’m going to let you feel sorry for yourself for the rest of your life, think again. There is a whole life waiting for us out there! I don’t intend to be sorry for myself. But I have enough on my plate as it is, so you’d better 12)snap out of it too. And I am not going to carry you—you are going to walk yourself.’” Grandma giggled, a surprisingly girlish sound coming from an old lady with white hair.
“I limped a few steps toward him and showed him what I’d taken out of my pocket. ‘Now show me you are still a man,’ I said, ‘I won’t ask again.’ He bent to take his cane from the ground and struggled out of that wheelchair. I could see he had not done it before, because he almost fell on his face, having only one leg. But I was not going to help. And so he managed it on his own and walked to me and never sat in a wheelchair again in his life.”
“What did you show him?” I had to know. Grandma looked at me and grinned. “Two engagement rings, of course. I had bought them the day after he left for the war and I was not going to waste them on any other man.”
I looked at the drawing on the kitchen wall,13)sketched by my grandfather’s hand so many years before. The picture became 14)distorted as tears filled my eyes. “You are my Joy. I love you with my life.” I murmured quietly. The young woman in the drawing sat on her park bench and with twinkling eyes smiled broadly at me, an engagement ring carefully drawn on her finger.
她想了一下,然后接著說道:“當你祖父不得不去從軍參戰(zhàn)的時候,我們已經(jīng)到了談婚論嫁的階段了。他離開的那段日子是我一生中度過的最可怕的時期。我很害怕會失去他,能讓我不至于瘋掉的唯一方法就是跳舞。我把我所有的精力和時間都投入到了練習之中,于是我成為了很棒的舞者。評論家對我好評連連,公眾對我鐘情有嘉,可我唯一能感覺到的卻是我心中的痛,因為不知道我一生的摯愛是否能平安歸來。然后我回到家里,一遍又一遍地讀著他的來信,直到睡去。他總是在信的結(jié)尾寫著:‘你就是我的快樂。一生愛你?!缓蟛攀撬暮灻5幸惶煳矣质盏搅怂膩硇?。信中只有三句話:‘我失去了一條腿。我不再是一個完整的人了,所以現(xiàn)在我將自由歸還給你。你最好還是把我忘掉吧?!?
“于是我立刻做出了決定。我向眾人告別,離開了這個城市。當我再度歸來的時候,我為自己買了一副拐杖,并用繃帶把我的腿包得緊緊的。我告訴每一個人,說我遭遇了一場車禍,我的腿再也不可能完全復原了。我的舞蹈生涯就此結(jié)束了。沒有人懷疑這個故事——我在回家之前已經(jīng)學會如何惟妙惟肖地跛行。我確保第一個聽說我出車禍的是一位我熟知的記者。接著我來到了你祖父所在的醫(yī)院。他們用輪椅把他推了出來。在他輪椅旁邊的地上有一副拐杖。我深深吸了一口氣,靠在我的拐杖上,一瘸一拐地向他走去?!?
此刻,我已經(jīng)忘記了那塊蜜桃派,入迷地聽著祖母說話?!叭缓蟀l(fā)生了什么事情呢?”當她停下來吃了幾口派時,我追問道。
“我告訴他,他并不是唯一失去了一條腿的人,盡管我的腿沒給截掉。我給他看了關于我發(fā)生車禍的剪報。‘所以,如果你覺得我會讓你在余生自怨自艾,想都別想。在外面還有全新的生活在等待著我們!我不打算為此而顧影自憐。而眼下我要做的事情已經(jīng)夠多的了,所以你最好也趕緊給我振作起來。而且你可別想我會背你——你要自己向前走。’”祖母咯咯地笑著,這位滿頭銀發(fā)的老婦人令人吃驚地發(fā)出了少女般的笑聲。
“我一瘸一拐地走開了幾步,然后讓他看我從口袋里掏出的一樣東西?!F(xiàn)在讓我看看,你還是個男子漢。我可不會說第二次?!麖澫卵鼜牡厣夏闷鹚墓照?掙扎著從那副輪椅中站出來??梢钥吹贸鏊皬奈催@樣做過,現(xiàn)在只有一條腿的他差點撲倒在地。但我沒打算幫他。接著他設法自己站穩(wěn)了,向我走來,而且在他的后半生里再也沒有坐回到輪椅上。”
“你給他看了什么東西呢?”我一定要知道。祖母看著我咧嘴而笑,說道:“當然是一對訂婚戒指了。在他從軍參戰(zhàn)的第二天我就買了這對戒指,我可不想把戒指浪費在任何其他男人身上?!?
我看著廚房墻壁上的那幅畫像,那是多年前我祖父親手繪就的。我眼中滿含淚水,眼前的畫像變得模糊起來。“你就是我的快樂。一生愛你?!蔽逸p聲低語道。畫像中的年輕女人坐在公園長椅上,眼神清亮,笑容可掬地看著我,她的手指上被精心地畫有一枚訂婚戒指。
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