Hello?
您好
Max phone! No!
麥克斯 有電話 別接啊
What are you doing?
你搞毛啊
Never answer the wall phone!
永遠(yuǎn)別接墻上的電話
What? Why?
什么 為什么
Only two people call the wall...
只有兩種人會打這只電話
collection agencies and the landlord
討債公司以及
looking for the original tenant whose name is on the lease!
打來找最初承租人的房東
Hang up. Quick! Too late.
那快掛掉吧 來不及了
I've got to man up and face it.
我還是鼓起勇氣來面對吧
Hello?
你好
This is what collection agency?
你是哪間討債公司來著
No my granddaughter Max is not here.
不 我孫女麥克斯不在
She died.
她死了
On her deathbed she said it was the stress
臨終前 她還說她是被債主
of being constantly harassed by creditors.
長期的騷擾給逼死的
That's juvenile.
你太遜了
Give me the phone.
電話給我
Hi. So sorry about that.
你好 剛才真是不好意思
What's the issue exactly?
到底是什么事來著
Well I'm sure she has every intention...
我敢保證她有打算...
Well you're a doody head.
你腦子里裝屎了吧
Never answer the wall.
永遠(yuǎn)不要接這電話
But what are you gonna do about it?
可欠債問題你打算怎么解決
You can't just keep lying to collection agencies.
總不能一直騙討債公司吧
You have to pay your bills.
欠債還錢天經(jīng)地義
I have a system.
我有個還債機(jī)制
I pay everyone five dollars a week...
每個債主每周還五塊錢
just enough to keep them from freaking out.
省得他們抓狂找我麻煩
It's the methadone clinic banking system.
這叫美沙酮療法還債版
That is a complete waste of money.
這完全是在浪費(fèi)錢
Five dollars won't even cover the interest you're accruing.
五塊錢都不夠付你的循環(huán)利息
What's the interest rate on your credit card?
你信用卡的利率是多少
Don't know,but my interest rate in the conversation is zero
不知道??但我對這話題的興趣度是零
Max how could you not know that?
麥克斯 你怎么能不知道呢
That's one of the first things my father taught me about finance.
我爸最早教我有關(guān)金融的事就是利率
Where... at Embezzle U.?
在哪兒教的 詐欺大學(xué)嗎
Max I interned at Merrill Lynch.
麥克斯 我在美林證券公司實習(xí)過
Let me help you with this. It's the least I can do.
讓我?guī)湍惆?這是我唯一能幫你的地方
I had nowhere to go. You took me in.
我無家可歸時 是你收留了我
Let me repay my debt to you by helping with your debt
讓我?guī)湍阆敕ㄗ舆€債來報答你吧
to everyone in the world apparently.
你不是欠著一大屁股債嘛
If you keep talking
如果你再喋喋不休
I'm going to Merrill lynch myself.
我就去自殺圖個清靜
I'm one of those people
我是那種
who gets off on untangling big complicated messes.
享受解決糾結(jié)問題的人
And since you won't let me do your hair
你不讓我動你糾結(jié)的頭發(fā)
let me do your bills.
那讓我解決你的債務(wù)吧
You want to do my bills?
你要幫我處理債務(wù)嗎
Here's my portfolio.
這是我的賬單錦集
And uh if you find chocolate sprinkles in there
如果看到上面有屎色巧克力屑
they're not chocolate...
它們可不是巧克力
Or sprinkles.
也不是普通的屑