雙語全文 ● 魯迅——端午節(jié)

The Double Fifth Festival

Recently the phrase “much of a muchness” had virtually become Fang Xuanchuo’s watchword. Not only on his lips， it was indeed entrenched in his mind. At first he had said “all the same.” Later， probably thinking this unreliable， he had switched to “much of a muchness” and used it right up till now.

Since his discovery of this commonplace dictum， although it had evoked not a few new emotions， at the same time he derived much comfort from it. For instance， when he saw the old domineering over the young，whereas once this had enraged him he now came round to thinking： when these youngsters have children and grandchildren themselves， they will probably throw their weight about like this too. Then it no longer seemed unjust. Or when he saw a soldier beating a rickshaw man， whereas once this had enraged him he now came round to thinking： if these two men were to change places， the rickshaw man would probably do the same. Then it no longer worried him. Sometimes， when such thoughts crossed his mind， he had misgivings， attributing his self-delusive escapism to his lack of courage to battle against social evils. It was akin to having “no sense of right and wrong，” and fell far short of reform. None the less， this viewpoint grew on him.

He first made public this theory of “much of a muchness” in a classroom in Shoushan School in Beijing. At the time， doubtless referring to past history， he said， “the men of old and those of today are not far apart，”whatever their colours “by nature they are akin，” and finally he led up to students and officials， airing his views at some length.

“In our society today it’s all the rage to inveigh against of officials， and those who do this most harshly are students. But officials are not a race apart from birth； they come from the common people. Not a few of today’s officials started as students， just like the old mandarins. ‘If they changed places their conduct would be the same.’ There is not much to choose between them in outlook， speech， behaviour or appearance. As for many of the new activities launched by student bodies， didn’t malpractices result，almost inevitably， so that most of them have now gone up in smoke？ It’s much of a muchness. But herein lies our concern over China’s future....”

端午節(jié)

方玄綽近來愛說“差不多”這一句話，幾乎成了“口頭禪”似的；而且不但說，的確也盤據(jù)在他腦里了。他最初說的是“都一樣”，后來大約覺得欠穩(wěn)當(dāng)了，便改為“差不多”，一直使用到現(xiàn)在。

他自從發(fā)見了這一句平凡的警句以后，雖然引起了不少的新感慨，同時(shí)卻也得到許多新慰安。譬如看見老輩威壓青年，在先是要憤憤的，但現(xiàn)在卻就轉(zhuǎn)念道，將來這少年有了兒孫時(shí)，大抵也要擺這架子的罷，便再?zèng)]有什么不平了。又如看見兵士打車夫，在先也要憤憤的，但現(xiàn)在也就轉(zhuǎn)念道，倘使這車夫當(dāng)了兵，這兵拉了車，大抵也就這么打，便再也不放在心上了。他這樣想著的時(shí)候，有時(shí)也疑心是因?yàn)樽约簺]有和惡社會(huì)奮斗的勇氣，所以瞞心昧己的故意造出來的一條逃路，很近于“無是非之心”，遠(yuǎn)不如改正了好。然而這意見，總反而在他腦里生長(zhǎng)起來。

他將這“差不多說”最初公表的時(shí)候是在北京首善學(xué)校的講堂上，其時(shí)大概是提起關(guān)于歷史上的事情來，于是說到“古今人不相遠(yuǎn)”，說到各色人等的“性相近”，終于牽扯到學(xué)生和官僚身上，大發(fā)其議論道：

“現(xiàn)在社會(huì)上時(shí)髦的都通行罵官僚，而學(xué)生罵得尤利害。然而官僚并不是天生的特別種族，就是平民變就的?，F(xiàn)在學(xué)生出身的官僚就不少，和老官僚有什么兩樣呢？‘易地則皆然’，思想言論舉動(dòng)豐采都沒有什么大區(qū)別……便是學(xué)生團(tuán)體新辦的許多事業(yè)，不是也已經(jīng)難免出弊病，大半煙消火滅了么？差不多的。但中國(guó)將來之可慮就在此……”

Of his twenty-odd auditors seated here and there in the classroom，some showed dismay， perhaps believing him right； some were angry，doubtless thinking this an insult to sacred youth； a few smiled at him，doubtless thinking this a self-justification—because Fang Xuanchuo also held an official post.

In fact， all of them were wrong. This was simply a new sense of injustice he had. Even so， it was just empty， law-abiding talk. Although not knowing himself whether owing to indolence， or because it was useless， at all events he refused to take part in movements and regarded himself as thoroughly law-abiding. Accused by his superiors of being psychopathic， as long as this did not affect his position， he never protested. When his school salary was more than half a year in arrears， so long as he had his official pay to live on，he never protested either. He not only kept his mouth shut， when the teachers banded together to demand payment， he privately considered this imprudent and too vociferous； only when his colleagues ran them down too harshly did he feel slightly disturbed； but then it occurred to him that this might be because he himself was hard up and the other officials did not hold teaching posts， and so he overlooked it.

Although he， too， was hard up， he never joined the teachers’ union； but when the others decided to go on strike he stayed away from class. The government ultimatum， “No pay till classes are resumed，” annoyed him，because this seemed like tempting a monkey with fruit. However， not until an outstanding educationist said， “It is in poor taste for teachers， a briefcase in one hand， to hold out the other for money，” did he make any formal complaint to his wife.

“Hey， why are there only two dishes？” he asked， eyeing the supper table， the evening after hearing this stricture on “poor taste.”

散坐在講堂里的二十多個(gè)聽講者，有的悵然了，或者是以為這話對(duì)；有的勃然了，大約是以為侮辱了神圣的青年；有幾個(gè)卻對(duì)他微笑了，大約以為這是他替自己的辯解：因?yàn)榉叫b就是兼做官僚的。

而其實(shí)卻是都錯(cuò)誤。這不過是他的一種新不平；雖說不平，又只是他的一種安分的空論。他自己雖然不知道是因?yàn)閼?，還是因?yàn)闊o用，總之覺得是一個(gè)不肯運(yùn)動(dòng)，十分安分守己的人?？傞L(zhǎng)冤他有神經(jīng)病，只要地位還不至于動(dòng)搖，他決不開一開口；教員的薪水欠到大半年了，只要?jiǎng)e有官俸支持，他也決不開一開口。不但不開口，當(dāng)教員聯(lián)合索薪的時(shí)候，他還暗地里以為欠斟酌，太嚷嚷；直到聽得同寮過分的奚落他們了，這才略有些小感慨，后來一轉(zhuǎn)念，這或者因?yàn)樽约赫卞X，而別的官并不兼做教員的緣故罷，于是也就釋然了。

他雖然也缺錢，但從沒有加入教員的團(tuán)體內(nèi)，大家議決罷課，可是不去上課了。政府說“上了課才給錢”，他才略恨他們的類乎用果子耍猴子；一個(gè)大教育家說道“教員一手挾書包一手要錢不高尚”，他才對(duì)于他的太太正式的發(fā)牢騷了。

“喂，怎么只有兩盤？”聽了“不高尚說”這一日的晚餐時(shí)候，他看著菜蔬說。

They had not had a modern education， and as his wife had no school name or poetic name， he did not know what to call her. For although he could have used the old term “madam，” he did not want to be too conservative and hence had invented this “Hey.” His wife had not even a“Hey” for him. If she just faced him when talking， he knew from habit that she was speaking to him.

“But that fifteen per cent you got last month is all spent.... We had trouble getting yesterday’s rice on credit.” She stood beside the table confronting him.

“See here， they say teachers cheapen themselves by demanding payment. Apparently those creatures don’t know the elementary fact that people need to eat， to eat you need rice， and to buy rice you need money.”

“That’s it. Without money how are we to buy rice， without rice ...”

He puffed out his cheeks， as if angry because this answer was “much of a muchness” with what he had said， practically echoing it. Then he turned his head aside， this being his customary way to terminate a discussion.

One cold， wet， windy day， because teachers went to demand payment from the government， after they had been beaten over the head by troops，and their blood had dripped in the mud outside Xinhua Gate， they unexpectedly got a little back pay. Without having lifted a finger， Fang Xuanchuo took his money， and with it settled some debts. But he was still very short， because of a serious delay in issuing his official salary. At this time， even those incorruptible officials were beginning to think a demand must be made for payment； and Fang Xuanchuo， as he was a teacher too，naturally felt even more sympathy for educational circles； thus when everybody proposed remaining on strike although he still did not attend the meeting he gladly abided later by the general decision.

Then， finally， the government resumed payment， and the schools started classes again. But a few days before this， the student union had petitioned the government， “If teachers still won’t give classes， don’t pay their arrears.” Although this proved ineffectual， it suddenly reminded Fang Xuanchuo of the earlier government ultimatum， “No pay till classes are resumed.” The reflection “much of a muchness” flashed before him， and did not fade away. Hence he had expounded it publicly in the classroom.

他們是沒有受過新教育的，太太并無學(xué)名或雅號(hào)，所以也就沒有什么稱呼了，照老例雖然也可以叫“太太”，但他又不愿意太守舊，于是就發(fā)明了一個(gè)“喂”字。太太對(duì)他卻連“喂”字也沒有，只要臉向著他說話，依據(jù)習(xí)慣法，他就知道這話是對(duì)他而發(fā)的。

“可是上月領(lǐng)來的一成半都完了……昨天的米，也還是好容易才賒來的呢?！币琳驹谧琅?，臉對(duì)著他說。

“你看，還說教書的要薪水是卑鄙哩。這種東西似乎連人要吃飯，飯要米做，米要錢買這一點(diǎn)粗淺事情都不知道……”

“對(duì)啦。沒有錢怎么買米，沒有米怎么煮……”

他兩頰都鼓起來了，仿佛氣惱這答案正和他的議論“差不多”，近乎隨聲附和模樣；接著便將頭轉(zhuǎn)向別一面去了，依據(jù)習(xí)慣法，這是宣告討論中止的表示。

待到凄風(fēng)冷雨這一天，教員們因?yàn)橄蛘ニ髑沸?，在新華門前爛泥里被國(guó)軍打得頭破血出之后，倒居然也發(fā)了一點(diǎn)薪水。方玄綽不費(fèi)一舉手之勞的領(lǐng)了錢，酌還些舊債，卻還缺一大筆款，這是因?yàn)楣儋阂差H有些拖欠了。當(dāng)是時(shí)，便是廉吏清官們也漸以為薪之不可不索，而況兼做教員的方玄綽，自然更表同情于學(xué)界起來，所以大家主張繼續(xù)罷課的時(shí)候，他雖然仍未到場(chǎng)，事后卻尤其心悅誠(chéng)服的確守了公共的決議。

然而政府竟又付錢，學(xué)校也就開課了。但在前幾天，卻有學(xué)生總會(huì)上一個(gè)呈文給政府，說“教員倘若不上課，便不要付欠薪?！边@雖然并無效，而方玄綽卻忽而記起前回政府所說的“上了課才給錢”的話來，“差不多”這一個(gè)影子在他眼前又一幌，而且并不消滅，于是他便在講堂上公表了？

This being the case， obviously if the “much of a muchness” theory is hammered out， it can naturally be adjudged a sense of injustice combined with personal feeling， but not a justification for holding an official post oneself. However， at such times， he often liked to drag in such problems as China’s future， and， unless careful， would even consider himself a highminded man concerned for the country’s future： It is a common failing， this lack of “self-knowledge.”

But something “much of a muchness” happened again. The government，although at first it simply ignored those teachers who were such a headache，later ignored the innocuous officials， withholding their pay until finally quite a few of those good officials， who had despised the teachers for asking for money， boldly took the lead in a rally to demand payment. Only a few newspapers published articles deriding them. Fang Xuanchuo， no whit surprised， paid no attention， for according to his theory “much of a muchness，” he knew this was because the journalists had not yet had their pay docked. If the government or the rich were by any chance to stop their subsidies， most of them would hold a rally too.

As he had already expressed sympathy for the teachers demanding payment， he naturally approved of his colleagues doing the same； but he went on sitting in his yamen， still not accompanying the other duns. As for those who suspected him of holding aloof， that was just a misunderstanding. According to him， all his life， people had asked him to pay his debts but he had never dunned anyone else， so this was not something “he excelled in.”Besides， he steered clear of those who wielded economic power. Certainly such people， once they lost their power and preached Buddhist scriptures，were also most “l(fā)ovable” ； but while still enthroned they behaved like the King of Hell， regarding the rest of mankind as their slaves， thinking they had the power of life and death over those paupers. This was why he steered clear of them. Although sometimes even he felt this showed a tendency to hold aloof， at the same time he often suspected it of actually being an incapacity.

準(zhǔn)此，可見如果將“差不多說”鍛煉羅織起來，自然也可以判作一種挾帶私心的不平，但總不能說是專為自己做官的辯解。只是每到這些時(shí)，他又常常喜歡拉上中國(guó)將來的命運(yùn)之類的問題，一不小心，便連自己也以為是一個(gè)憂國(guó)的志士：人們是每苦于沒有“自知之明”的。

但是“差不多”的事實(shí)又發(fā)生了，政府當(dāng)初雖只不理那些招人頭痛的教員，后來竟不理到無關(guān)痛癢的官吏，欠而又欠，終于逼得先前鄙薄教員要錢的好官，也很有幾員化為索薪大會(huì)里的驍將了。惟有幾種日?qǐng)?bào)上卻很發(fā)了些鄙薄譏笑他們的文字。方玄綽也毫不為奇，毫不介意，因?yàn)樗鶕?jù)了他的“差不多說”，知道這是新聞?dòng)浾哌€未缺少潤(rùn)筆的緣故，萬一政府或是闊人停了津貼，他們多半也要開大會(huì)的。

他既已表同情于教員的索薪，自然也贊成同寮的索俸，然而他仍然安坐在衙門中，照例的并不一同去討債。至于有人疑心他孤高，那可也不過是一種誤解罷了。他自己說，他是自從出世以來，只有人向他來要債，他從沒有向人去討過債，所以這一端是“非其所長(zhǎng)”。而且他最不敢見手握經(jīng)濟(jì)之權(quán)的人物，這種人待到失了權(quán)勢(shì)之后，捧著一本《大乘起信論》講佛學(xué)的時(shí)候，固然也很是“藹然可親”的了，但還在寶座上時(shí)，卻總是一副閻王臉，將別人都當(dāng)奴才看，自以為手操著你們這些窮小子們的生殺之權(quán)。他因此不敢見，也不愿見他們。這種脾氣，雖然有時(shí)連自己也覺得是孤高，但往往同時(shí)也疑心這其實(shí)是沒本領(lǐng)。

With all these demands for payment right and left， they managed to get by somehow. But compared with the past he was in such desperate straits that， quite apart from his servant and the tradesmen with whom he dealt，even Mrs. Fang gradually lost her respect for him. You could tell this just from her recent lack of compliance， the way she often put forward her own views， and her rather brash behaviour. When he arrived home before noon on the fourth of the fifth lunar month， she thrust a pile of bills under his nose—something quite unprecedented.

“A hundred and eighty dollars in all are needed to settle these.... Have you been paid？ ” She asked without looking at him.

“Huh， tomorrow I shall resign my official post. Cheques have been issued， but the representatives of the Demand Payment Rally are hanging on to them. First they said none would be given to those who didn’t attend the rally， then said we must fetch them in person. Now that they’ve those cheques in their clutches， they’ve become like the King of Hell. I can’t stand the sight.... I don’t want the money， I shall quit my post， it’s just too humiliating....”

Mrs. Fang was rather astonished by this unusual display of indignation，but she quieted down.

“I still think you’d better fetch it. What does it matter？” She asked，looking him in the face.

“Not I！ My official stipend， not charity！ By rights the accountants’ office should send it over.”

“But suppose they don’t send it....Oh， last night I forgot to tell you. The children say the school keeps prodding them for their school fees. If they aren’t paid ...”

“Rubbish！ I’m not paid for my work or for my teaching， why should they charge my sons for a bit of schooling？”

She felt he was being unreasonable， taking out his anger on her instead of on the school head. It was not worth arguing with him.

大家左索右索，總算一節(jié)一節(jié)的挨過去了，但比起先前來，方玄綽究竟是萬分的拮據(jù)，所以使用的小廝和交易的店家不消說，便是方太太對(duì)于他也漸漸的缺了敬意，只要看伊近來不很附和，而且常常提出獨(dú)創(chuàng)的意見，有些唐突的舉動(dòng)，也就可以了然了。到了陰歷五月初四的午前，他一回來，伊便將一疊賬單塞在他的鼻子跟前，這也是往常所沒有的。

“一總總得一百八十塊錢才夠開消……發(fā)了么？”伊并不對(duì)著他看的說。

“哼，我明天不做官了。錢的支票是領(lǐng)來的了，可是索薪大會(huì)的代表不發(fā)放，先說是沒有同去的人都不發(fā)，后來又說是要到他們跟前去親領(lǐng)。他們今天單捏著支票，就變了閻王臉，我實(shí)在怕看見……我錢也不要了，官也不做了，這樣無限量的卑屈……”

方太太見了這少見的義憤，倒有些愕然了，但也就沉靜下來。

“我想，還不如去親領(lǐng)罷，這算什么呢?！币量粗哪樥f。

“我不去！這是官俸，不是賞錢，照例應(yīng)該由會(huì)計(jì)科送來的。”

“可是不送來又怎么好呢……哦，昨夜忘記說了，孩子們說那學(xué)費(fèi)，學(xué)校里已經(jīng)催過好幾次了，說是倘若再不繳……”

“胡說！做老子的辦事教書都不給錢，兒子去念幾句書倒要錢？”

伊覺得他已經(jīng)不很顧忌道理，似乎就要將自己當(dāng)作校長(zhǎng)來出氣，犯不上，便不再言語了。

They ate their lunch in silence. He thought things over， then went out in a temper.

It had been his rule in recent years， the day before New Year or a festival not to come home till midnight， when he would walk in， groping in his pocket， and announce loudly，“Hey，I’ve got it！” Then， a complacent look on his face， he would give her a wad of brand-new bandnotes issued by the Bank of China or the Bank of Communications. But today， the fourth， he broke his rule， arriving home before seven. Mrs. Fang was most dismayed，thinking he had resigned； but stealing a glance at his face， she could not see that he looked particularly down on his luck.

“What’s up？ ... So early？ ...” She asked， eyeing him.

“Not issued， couldn’t get it. The banks are closed， have to wait until the eighth.”

“Did you go yourself？” She asked anxiously.

“That’s no longer necessary， they say it will still be sent over by the accountants’ office. But today the banks have already closed， for three days. Have to wait till the morning of the eighth.” He sat down， his eyes on the floor. After a sip of tea he went on slowly， “Luckily there’s no problem in the yamen， so I should be getting it for sure on the eighth.... It’s really troublesome trying to borrow from relatives and friends one’s not on good terms with. After lunch I swallowed my pride and called on Jin Yongsheng. We chatted for a while. First he praised me for not going to demand payment and refusing to fetch my pay， calling me most high-minded， a fine example to others. When he learned that I wanted a short-term loan of fifty yuan， he looked as if I’d stuffed his mouth with salt—every wrinkle on his face crinkled. He said he hadn’t been able to collect his rents， his business was losing money， and to go to fetch one’s salary from a colleague was nothing to worry about. He sent me packing.”

“In an emergency like this， who’s willing to lend money？” Said Mrs. Fang mildly and impassively.

Fang Xuanchuo hung his head， feeling hardly able to blame Jin Yongsheng， especially as they were not on terms. Then he recalled an incident last New Year’s Eve， when a fellow provincial had asked for a loan of ten yuan. He had manifestly received his cheque from the yamen， but for fear this man might fail to pay him back he pretended to be in difficulties，saying that he could not get his official stipend and the school had not paid his salary， so much as he would like to help he could not. He sent him away empty-handed. Though he had not seen the expression he had assumed then， he now felt put out. His lips quivering， he shook his head.

兩個(gè)默默的吃了午飯。他想了一會(huì)，又懊惱的出去了。

照舊例，近年是每逢節(jié)根或年關(guān)的前一天，他一定須在夜里的十二點(diǎn)鐘才回家，一面走，一面掏著懷中，一面大聲的叫道，“喂，領(lǐng)來了！”于是遞給伊一疊簇新的中交票，臉上很有些得意的形色。誰知道初四這一天卻破了例，他不到七點(diǎn)鐘便回家來。方太太很驚疑，以為他竟已辭了職了，但暗暗地察看他臉上，卻也并不見有什么格外倒運(yùn)的神情。

“怎么？……這樣早？……”伊看定了他說。

“發(fā)不及了，領(lǐng)不出了，銀行已經(jīng)關(guān)了門，得等初八?！?

“親領(lǐng)？……”伊惴惴的問。

“親領(lǐng)這一層，倒也已經(jīng)取消了，聽說仍舊由會(huì)計(jì)科分送?？墒倾y行今天已經(jīng)關(guān)了門，休息三天，得等到初八的上午。”他坐下，眼睛看著地面了，喝過一口茶，才又慢慢的開口說，“幸而衙門里也沒有什么問題了，大約到初八就準(zhǔn)有錢……向不相干的親戚朋友去借錢，實(shí)在是一件煩難事。我午后硬著頭皮去尋金永生，談了一會(huì)，他先恭維我不去索薪，不肯親領(lǐng)，非常之清高，一個(gè)人正應(yīng)該這樣做；待到知道我想要向他通融五十元，就像我在他嘴里塞了一大把鹽似的，凡有臉上可以打皺的地方都打起皺來，說房租怎樣的收不起，買賣怎樣的賠本，在同事面前親身領(lǐng)款，也不算什么的，即該將我支使出來了?！?

“這樣緊急的節(jié)根，誰還肯借出錢去呢?！狈教珔s只淡淡的說，并沒有什么慨然。

方玄綽低下頭來了，覺得這也無怪其然的，況且自己和金永生本來”很疏遠(yuǎn)。他接著就記起去年年關(guān)的事來，那時(shí)有一個(gè)同鄉(xiāng)來借十塊錢，他其時(shí)明明已經(jīng)收到了衙門的領(lǐng)款憑單的了，因?yàn)榭峙逻@人將來未必會(huì)還錢，便裝了一副為難的神色，說道衙門里既然領(lǐng)不到俸錢，學(xué)校里又不發(fā)薪水，實(shí)在“愛莫能助”，將他空手送走了。他雖然自己并不看見裝了怎樣的臉，但此時(shí)卻覺得很局促，嘴唇微微一動(dòng)，又搖一搖頭。

Before long， however， as if suddenly seeing the light， he ordered the servant to go out at once and get him a bottle of Lotus-Flower White on credit. The storekeeper， he knew， was hoping he would settle his bills tomorrow， so probably wouldn’t dare to refuse him credit. If he did， then not a cent would he get the next day—he deserved to be penalized.

The Lotus-Flower White was duly bought on credit. After two cups his pallid face flushed， and after supper he was in fairly high spirits. He lit a Hatamen cigarette， and picked up from the table a copy of An Experimental Collection， then lay on the bed to read it.

“Well， how to cope with the tradesmen tomorrow？” Mrs. Fang， who had pursued him， was standing in front of the bed looking into his face.

“The tradesmen？... Tell them to come in the afternoon of the eighth.”

“I can’t do that. They wouldn’t believe me， wouldn’t be willing.”

“Why shouldn’t they believe you？ They can ask around. Nobody in the yamen will be paid until the eighth.” Under the mosquito net he sketched a semi-circle with his forefinger. Mrs. Fang saw the semi-circle， saw his hand continue leafing through the book.

Seeing him so unreasonably overbearing， she could say no more for the time being.

Finally， hitting on a different approach， she said， “I don’t see how we can go on this wretched way. You must think of some way out in future，find something else to do.”

“What way out？ I can’t be a copyist or join a fire-brigade. What else can I do？”

“Didn’t you write for that bookshop in Shanghai？

然而不多久，他忽而恍然大悟似的發(fā)命令了：叫小廝即刻上街去賒一瓶蓮花白。他知道店家希圖明天多還賬，大抵是不敢不賒的，假如不賒，則明天分文不還，正是他們應(yīng)得的懲罰。

蓮花白竟賒來了，他喝了兩杯，青白色的臉上泛了紅，吃完飯，又頗有些高興了。他點(diǎn)上一枝大號(hào)哈德門香煙，從桌上抓起一本《嘗試集》來，躺在床上就要看。

“那么，明天怎么對(duì)付店家呢？”方太太追上去，站在床面前，看著他的臉說。

“店家？……教他們初八的下半天來?！?

“我可不能這么說。他們不相信，不答應(yīng)的?！?

“有什么不相信。他們可以問去，全衙門里什么人也沒有領(lǐng)到，都得初八！”他戟著第二個(gè)指頭在帳子里的空中畫了一個(gè)半圓，方太太跟著指頭也看了一個(gè)半圓，只見這手便去翻開了《嘗試集》。

方太太見他強(qiáng)橫到出乎情理之外了，也暫時(shí)開不得口。

“我想，這模樣是鬧不下去的，將來總得想點(diǎn)法，做點(diǎn)什么別的事……”伊終于尋到了別的路，說。

“什么法呢？我‘文不像謄錄生，武不像救火兵’，別的做什么？”

“你不是給上海的書鋪?zhàn)幼鲞^文章么？”

“That bookshop in Shanghai？ They pay by the word， not by the page. Look at all the blank spaces in that volume of vernacular poems I wrote. I’m afraid it’ll only fetch three hundred dollars. And for half a year I’ve had no word about royalties. Distant water can’t put out a nearby fire. Just have to lump it.”

“Well then， write for the papers here.”

“The papers？ I’ve a student who edits one of the biggest of them. But even as a favour， he can’t pay me more than a few dollars per thousand words. If I worked from morning till night， how could I keep you all？Besides， I haven’t so much to write about. ”

“Well， after the festival， what then？”

“After the festival？—I’ll go on being all official.... When the tradesmen ask for money tomorrow， just put them off till the afternoon of the eighth.”

He picked up his book again. Afraid to miss this chance， Mrs. Fang faltered：

“I think， after the festival， on the eighth， we’d ... better buy a lottery ticket.... ”

“Rubbish！ How can you talk in that uneducated way....”

This suddenly reminded him of what had happened after Jin Yongsheng had sent him packing. Dejectedly passing Dao Xiang Cun he noticed an advertisement in big characters on the shop door： “First Prize Tens of Thousands of Yuan.” He had been tempted， he seemed to recall， and may have slowed down； but as if unwilling to part with the last sixty cents in his wallet， he had in the end gone resolutely on his way. His face changed colour. Mrs. Fang， supposing him annoyed by her lack of education， made haste to withdraw without having had her say out. Fang Xuanchuo， not having had his say out either， stretched and started intoning the poems in An Experimental Collection.

Jun-22

“上海的書鋪?zhàn)?？買稿要一個(gè)一個(gè)的算字，空格不算數(shù)。你看我做在那里的白話詩去，空白有多少，怕只值三百大錢一本罷。收版權(quán)稅又半年六月沒消息，‘遠(yuǎn)水救不得近火’，誰耐煩?！?

“那么，給這里的報(bào)館里……”

“給報(bào)館里？便在這里很大的報(bào)館里，我靠著一個(gè)學(xué)生在那里做編輯的大情面，一千字也就是這幾個(gè)錢，即使一早做到夜，能夠養(yǎng)活你們么？況且我肚子里也沒有這許多文章?！?

“那么，過了節(jié)怎么辦呢？”

“過了節(jié)么？——仍舊做官……明天店家來要錢，你只要說初八的下午?！?

他又要看《嘗試集》了。方太太怕失了機(jī)會(huì)，連忙吞吞吐吐的說：

“我想，過了節(jié)，到了初八，我們……倒不如去買一張彩票……”

“胡說！會(huì)說出這樣無教育的……”

這時(shí)候，他忽而又記起被金永生支使出來以后的事了。那時(shí)他惘惘的走過稻香村，看見店門口豎著許多斗大的字的廣告道“頭彩幾萬元”，仿佛記得心里也一動(dòng)，或者也許放慢了腳步的罷，但似乎因?yàn)樯岵坏闷A里僅存的六角錢，所以竟也毅然決然的走遠(yuǎn)了。他臉色一變，方太太料想他是在惱著伊的無教育，便趕緊退開，沒有說完話。方玄綽也沒有說完話，將腰一伸，咿咿嗚嗚的就念《嘗試集》。

一九二二年六月。